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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28308726">Reflections</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeoNyph/pseuds/ZeoNyph'>ZeoNyph</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crying, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, F/F, Post-Canon, Slight fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:21:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28308726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZeoNyph/pseuds/ZeoNyph</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <em>Her fingers hover over the play button, hesitant to reach out and press it. Her heart’s racing, hammering against her ribcage as she contemplates whether it’s a good idea to listen to it again.</em>
    <br/>
  </strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>
    <br/>
    <em>One more time wouldn’t hurt, right? - The Sun</em>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>An anthology of post-ending one shots, starting with the Star.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female V &amp; Jackie Welles, Johnny Silverhand &amp; Female V, Judy Alvarez/Female V</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>171</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Star</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <strong>
    <em>She didn’t realize how much she missed the open road, the breeze whipping her hair as she drove by the desert, until now. The nomad in her never forgot what it was like to be free, and she was happy for that.</em>
  </strong>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If someone asked the V who came into Night City six months ago whether she’d leave, she’d ask whether their gonk brain is finally giving in, because she couldn’t see any other choice other than coming here for a fresh start. There’s a reason they called it ‘the City of Dreams’, right?</p><p>Now, she thinks, she’s the gonk for not leaving sooner.</p><p>After all, it’s because of Night City that her life’s on a premature timer. She won’t be a Miss Nobody, but she won’t go out in a blaze of glory either, instead slowly dying in a body that’s no longer hers. Staring into the black sky, watching the stars twinkle and gaze back at her as she’s finally left the city, she asks herself whether she should have given Johnny her body instead. At least he’d have a better chance at a second life.</p><p>But then she looks at Judy, snuggled closely against her, her face illuminated by the cracking campfire, and she’s instantly reminded of why she chose to stay. That feeling of belonging to something once again, the feeling of being loved, were all something she’d lost by the time she came into Night City, and yet she came out with both.</p><p>Whenever Judy called her, whether it be on her way to a gig, or upgrading her katana, she’d drop everything and accept the call. Same went for her messages; she didn’t hesitate to reply when Judy sent her a message, and she’d constantly check her phone to see whether she replied back. She knew she was falling hard, but that didn’t stop her.</p><p>By the time the two of them went diving in the dam, she knew that she was the one for her. When she woke up after their first time and found Judy by the pier, coffee in hand, she’d realized that she hadn’t been that happy in a long time.</p><p>And now, with the two of them together with the Aldecaldos, she felt… free. The city had been suffocating them for so long, stripping them of whatever right they had to live the way they want. She didn’t realize how much she missed the open road, the breeze whipping her hair as she drove by the desert, until now. The nomad in her never forgot what it was like to be free, and she was happy for that.</p><p>But all this, she thinks bitterly, came at a cost.</p><p>All Jackie wanted was to make it big in NC, to marry Misty. He had so many dreams, but he never knew he had so little time to pursue them. At times, she kept thinking that if Jackie never removed the chip, he’d still be here, alive and kicking.</p><p>But then, she’d never have met Johnny if that was the case.</p><p>It was almost comical to think that she’d be missing the terrorist rockerboy that tried to kill her the first time they met, but it was true. Johnny might have been an asshole at first, but he gradually became something more. The situation they were in meant that he knew more about her than any other person (well, Judy’s an exception, but she’s sure he already knew that). She trusted him well enough to pass up control of her body over to him, even though he made quite the ruckus in a few places.</p><p>Hell, he trusted her well enough to bestow his tank top and the dogtags from his war days onto her, and trusted her to take care of his signature gun and car once she found them. And then at the oil fields, the heart to heart convo they’d shared sealed the deal for them; both of them would take a bullet for each other, no matter what</p><p>In the end though, it was Johnny who did. She kept her body, and she lost the chip. </p><p>But she lost Johnny.</p><p>She lost a friend.</p><p>“Hey.” Judy says, groggily snuggling closer to V, placing her head on her chest.</p><p>“Hey yourself.” V replies, placing a kiss on her forehead.</p><p>“Enny for your thoughts?” she asks, noticing V’s distant gaze.</p><p>“Nah, it’s just…all of this feels like a dream, y’know? Being with you, out in the desert, nothing but quiet all around us…”</p><p>“I know. Leaving the city, it takes a lotta weight off your shoulders. Don’t have to wake up to gunfire in the alleyways, don’t have to keep iron on ya all the time...”</p><p>Even though they’ve been together for a while, Judy never ceases to amaze with how well she knows V.</p><p>“Yeah… Night City took a lot away from us, that’s for sure.”</p><p>Judy nods. “It took Evie away from me, and it took a lot more from you.”</p><p>V looks at Judy and smiles somberly, leaning down to place a quick peck on her lips.</p><p>“Good thing we left it in the dust, then. We’ve got so much to live for now. Besides, Panam said that you’re one of us now, gave you the jacket and everything.”</p><p>It was one thing to be welcomed into the Aldecaldos as a part of the family, and it was another to watch it happen to someone else. Her heart fluttered as she saw the look of surprise on Judy’s face when Panam gave her the jacket after declaring her to be an Aldecaldo, and she knew how much that meant to her. She’d been struggling for a long time to find a place where she belonged ever since Laguna Bend got flooded, and Night City made that yearning much more prominent. And so when Panam told V that Judy’d soon be inducted into the Aldecaldos, she couldn’t be any happier..</p><p>“Still can’t believe I’m a nomad myself, ya know?” Judy says, looking down at her jacket, the blue material reflecting the moonlight. “And to think I was editing smutty BDs over at Lizzie’s a week ago.”</p><p>“Yeah, being a nomad is something else alright.” V replies, looking back at Judy, gently wiping a strand of hair off her face. “Bet all the gals at Lizzie’s lost a lotta eddies tonight.”</p><p>“Haha, yeah they did alright. Can’t believe some of those gonks put in a lotta eddies on me coming.”</p><p>“Too bad we weren’t there. Woulda been some preem shit.”</p><p>The two of them laughed, before having one last look at the stars, cuddled together.</p><p>“Think it’s time we turn in for the night. We do have a long drive at sunrise.” V said, promptly yawning and leaning her head onto the crook of Judy's neck. </p><p>“Mmhm, still can’t get used to the fact that all of you get up so early and sleep so late.”</p><p>“Cons of nomad life, Jude. Gotta get used to it.” she replies, snickering.</p><p>“Ha, don’t gotta tell me twice. Sleep well, <em> calabacita </em>.”</p><p>“You too, Judy.”</p><p>And as she closes her eyes, she thinks that there can be a chance for her to live, because if she found love in a place where it was rare to find, who’s to say she can’t fight tooth and nail to live either?<br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Sun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em>
    <strong>Her fingers hover over the play button, hesitant to reach out and press it. Her heart’s racing, hammering against her ribcage as she contemplates whether it’s a good idea to listen to it again.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>One more time wouldn’t hurt, right?</strong>
  </em>
</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Jackie and V decided that they’d become legends of NC, it was always meant to be the two of them together, taking shots in the Afterlife as he discusses whether he should marry Misty, both their pockets full of eddies and glory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, one of them died bleeding out in a cab, and the other lives in a high-rise apartment, with more eddies than she knows what to do with, and a hole in her heart bigger than it ever was before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doesn’t help that she’s still on a timer, slowly ticking down until she fades away, leaving nothing but legend.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Legend. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She should feel pride at that. Becoming top dog of Night City was a difficult endeavor to begin with, but doing it with a chip that slowly sapped at her soul? The odds weren’t in her favor. Yet, she’s here, looking at Night City like a pirate looks at his newfound spoils. But from the balcony of her luxury apartment, looking at the skyline while her fingers idly played with the bullet necklace, V didn’t feel pride, or happiness. She felt… </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lost count of how many times she’d looked at the corner of a room expecting to find the rockerboy that once lived in her head, expecting him to say something in that snarky tone of his, only to find empty air and the hole in her head that Johnny once filled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It could easily have been the other way around, though. Johnny had every right to take her body, almost as much as she did. Maybe then, he’d have a second chance at life. The two of them learned so much throughout her struggle for survival as she tried to find a way to remove the Relic. He’d changed as well, and so did she. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers instinctively switch from holding her necklace to holding the dog tags Johnny’d given her in the Pistis Sophia. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Would you take a bullet for me?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’d asked then, and she replied yes without hesitation. But she never got a chance to do that for him; she was here after all, wasn’t she?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V leans away from the balcony, and promptly decides that she needs a cup of coffee, deciding to make her way inside the apartment that she’d hoped to call home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Morro Rock Radio </span>
  </em>
  <span>booms out of the various speakers set up around the place, which looks more disorganized than it was when she first bought it. Bottles of Centzon and Broseph litter the couch and floor (she might be bleeding eddies, but she’d never forget the warm taste of Broseph; it reminded her of simpler times when she’d come back from a scouting run and found a bottle waiting for her), and takeout boxes adorned the kitchen countertop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking over to the coffee machine, she looks at the mini collection of mugs she has, before deciding to take a black mug with the SAMURAI logo plastered on it. That was a little gift from Kerry, sometime after the whole Mikoshi fiasco. He was busy setting up the Us Cracks tour, but he took the time to get something for little ol’ V.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meant even more to her since it took only one look at the logo for her to reminisce about a certain rockerboy with an affinity for nicotine and backstage sex.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Placing the mug, she pushes some buttons so that she gets coffee the way she likes it, with milk and sugar.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Goin’ all in, huh?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns around, half expecting to find the owner of the voice next to her, even though she knows there’s no way in hell that she’s still in NC. Her holo feels heavy in her jean pocket, and she’s sure it’s not because it gave birth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly grabbing her holo, she opens her messages, her fingers on autopilot as they traverse the multitude of car messages from fixers, to find a video message filed under the contact of one Judy Alvarez.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s played that message multiple times ever since she came back from the Crystal Palace, no matter how much it makes her feel empty inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fingers hover over the play button, hesitant to reach out and press it. Her heart’s racing, hammering against her ribcage as she contemplates whether it’s a good idea to listen to it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One more time wouldn’t hurt, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She lets out a shaky breath and presses the play button, the cacophony of the outside world silenced.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, V.” Judy starts, kneeling against the railing as she looks at the camera. “I’m just, uh… I’m calling to say goodbye.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t feel like it, but it felt like she was staring at her soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She clears her throat, her eyes staring elsewhere as she composes herself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve finally decided to up and leave this city for good.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She lets the words hang in the air for a moment, as her eyes start to turn glossy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The coffee stands forgotten as V has her eyes transfixed on her holo, the world outside ignored.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I realized this place only gives you two choices,” she continues, with a calm face and a wavering voice. “You either become an asshole… or eventually you get offed by one.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looks at the camera again, her face softly illuminated by the low light in front of her as she shifts a little, looking slightly uncomfortable, as though she fears she’ll be dragged in like quicksand if she stays still too long.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I hope… you somehow find an alternative. It’s a shame things had to end this way.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She moves to say something more, but she never does. Instead, she settles for a cold “Have a nice life, V.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It felt like they were back to the way they were before; two separate souls on a split track, no chance of ever converging.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like nothing had ever happened between them. And that hurt a lot more than a goodbye ever could.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>V doesn’t know how, but she found herself sliding down the kitchen countertop, like a merc shot through the heart, slumping down against the floor as tears fell freely down her cheeks, down onto her edgerunner jacket. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because that’s what it all was, wasn’t it? A huge fucking bullet straight through the heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t know how long she sat there, knees huddled together as she repeatedly mumbles “I’m sorry, Jude.” over and over again, knowing that she fucked up badly. She feels herself clawing away at what she has left, knowing time and time again that all she has is an empty hole where her soul once used to stay in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A call to her holo brings her out of her emotional stupor, and she hastily rubs away at the tears on her cheeks before she looks at who her caller is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s Emmerick, and she’s almost tempted to let it ring into voicemail, but she can’t bring herself to do it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“V here.” she says, clearing her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey boss. Wanted to let you know that the client’s here. Said he had somethin’ for ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmhmm, the blue eyed guy right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Emmerick nods, looking away from the phone to where Mr. Blue Eyes presumably is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let ‘im know I’ll be there soon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it, boss.” he says, before hanging up the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>V lays her head against the table, rubbing at her eyes, before standing up and making her way to the door. It was time to go back to becoming V, top merc of Night City, but she longed to become Valerie, the charming ex-nomad with a heart of gold who'd died long ago in Mikoshi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And as she leaves, the radio starts to blare </span>
  <em>
    <span>Never Fade Away, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and it somehow felt… oddly fitting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We lost everything… we had to pay the price.</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next up: Temperance</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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